2017's Weirdest Glory Trends We Didn't Even Consider Trying

From nostril extensions to boob nails, these are the most outlandish beauty trends 2017 served up that we weren't exactly buying...

2017 Weird Glory Trends
Instagram@sofiepeterseen/@looks_by_lexington/@justintoscooters

Remember all those bonkers stories you read this year telling you that 'THIS' is the next big beauty trend, only to realise it was something totally outlandish, normally a little bit gross and for some reason almost always wiggly/involving hair extensions?

Well, we've rounded them up in what we like to think of as the 'so bad it's good' guide to the 2017 beauty trends.

Think of it like the hair and make-up version of Netflix's self-funded film A Christmas Prince, aka totally fascinating and enjoyably mind-numbing but ultimately it's a guilty pleasure and not an actual legit thing.

Yup, these are the year's dodgiest beauty trends we love to look at from the safety of Instagram and no closer. Ta, very much.

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1 Hairy Nails

A post shared by (@justintoscooters) on

Weird why?  Let us count the ways this hair nail trend counts as weird. 1. Your nails  now have hair... 2. They feature a tiny replica of your own face. 3. How are you supposed to achieve anything with these? We don't even want to imagine the typing-based issues. 

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2 Feather Brows

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Weird why? The beginning of the extreme brow phenomenon that was basically the entirety of 2017, feather brows are sort of pretty and fashwun and editorial, but mainly just a creepy way of giving your eyebrows the centre parting they never needed.

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3 Dragon Brows

A post shared by (@harlibi) on

Weird why? Where feather brows started, dragon brows took over. A similar concept - parting your eyebrow to create crazy (read: unnecessary) shapes, dragon brows were 2017's misguided take on Gareth Gates' hair. Our main complaint? Who even has that much eyebrow to work with. Some of us lived through the noughties...

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4 Crown Brows

A post shared by (@sofiepeterseen) on

Weird why? The most recent way to make your eyebrows the most extra, bejewelled crown brows were everything you'd want from a Instagram beauty trend - OTT and a just a bit too ridiculous for real life. We're deeming these NSFW.

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5 Wiggly Brows

A post shared by (@blacktiebp) on

Weird why? For some reason everything in 2017 had to be wiggly (see below) and eyebrows were no exception. The basic rule is, if you can do it to an eyebrow, then why not? Not necessarily our life motto...

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6 Wiggly Lips

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Weird why? The next instalment of wiggly beauty mania (see above), squiggly/wibbly/wobbly lips might give you a bigger pout but we're seeing haunting similarities to our post-flu chapped lips when there's n'ere a lip balm in sight.

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7 Nostril Hair Extensions

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Weird why? This one feels pretty self explanatory. False eyelashes in your nostrils? Just think of the tickle factor.

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8 Vagina Nails

Weird why? Hey, we're all about the body confidence here at LouisvuittonShop but creepily shiny synthetic vaginas on our acrylics was a step too far for our feminist selves.

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9 PB&J Hair

A post shared by (@shmeggsandbaconn) on

Weird why? Because we're not sure a divisive sandwich filling should ever be the inspiration for our next dye job. What's next? Salmon paste and cucumber hair? Egg mayo and cress? This could be the beginning of mankind's descent...

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10 Glitter Tongue

A post shared by (@liza.klubnika) on

Weird why? Between the health concerns (digesting glitter is not fun) and the sheer mess of it all, we're not sure this glitter beauty trend is worth it. After all, unless you're doing a Miley 24/7, it's hidden inside your mouth. The word pointless comes to mind...

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11 Boob Nails

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Weird why? See vagina nails above.

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12 Glitter Boobs

A post shared by (@katesnooks) on

Weird why? Ok, this one we're sort of on board with. We love the idea of ditching your go-to festival fringe top for seriously shiny sequin-adorned boobs, but, think of the chill when it comes 2am and you're stood in a field half naked and freezing. Practicality rating - not cool.

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